seriously, I really just need to let all this out. I have so much on my mind its ridiculous. As always tumblr has been a place I can safely say whatever I feel. 

Well I haven’t really updated my tumblr since everything that has gone on. Again I was in another crappy relationship. I wish I could have a warning sign or something to let me know it wasn’t going to last. Someone to tell me HE WAS GOING TO CHANGE. I mean fuck cut to the bullshit and end it already. Why drag it on? Its not like you(he) gave a damn about me. If he did, he wouldn’t have done what he did. Why is it that everyone wants me when Im gone? That Im not good enough when they have me? It frustrates the hell out of me. I mean I know what I have when I have it & I try and cherish it every single day. Why can’t people pull their head out of their ass and grow the fuck up?! Why do people have to bullshit emotions? Why do they waste their time as well as mine? I mean is it that much entertainment to rip someones heart into two? Is it necessary to make yourself feel so much better cause you hurt someone?  From now on its going to be REALLY FUCKING HARD to trust anyone. To understand where the fuck these creatures came from. I mean some say they don’t believe in aliens well I believe I am surrounded by them everyday. I just look back at things I put myself through and just wonder why. 

sometimes I get so damn angry I could scream. I could punch holes and holes in walls. I could run miles and miles away but in the end nothing is solved and all i did was destruct more things and make more problems. Its hard to get people to care, when they wont ever care. Its hard to care for people that completely fucked you over countless times. Its hard to trust someone your gut has told you to completely forget. It pisses me off for the simple fact of like I mentioned before……PEOPLE DO NOT FUCKING REALIZE WHAT THEY HAVE WHEN THEY HAVE IT. IM SORRY BUT WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER AND YOU BROKE YOUR FAVORITE TOY(it being unfixable) DID YOU GET THE SAME ONE BACK (THE ORIGINAL) NO!!!!!! SO DONT THINK YOUR GETTING THE ORIGINAL ME BACK…YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE, PLENTY. YOU TOYED ME AROUND FUCKED ME OVER INSIDE AND OUT. Im not only talking about one person I am talking about tons of people. People who pushed me around then months later come back. Basically what I am saying is dont be surprised when I shoot the middle finger at you and walk the other way. Sorry its time to move forward not back..

Peace!